by
Jim Conway, Ph.D.
President, Midlife Dimensions
There have been a number of studies
which have demonstrated the power of prayer.
In one study, groups of people who
had similar problems were divided into two groups. The first group
went through counseling only. The second group went through the
same counseling process, but at the end of each session they were
given a little prayer card. On the prayer card the counselor listed
a specific issue, problem, or character defect for which the person
was to pray about each day during the following week.
After several weeks there was an
obvious difference in the two groups. The first group made some
improvement, but the second group — the praying group — were
noticeably improved. Yet the only difference was the addition of
daily prayer.
The interesting part of these
experiments was that the praying group was no more religious than
the non-praying group. Both groups had in equal number of people
who attended church or were committed Christians.
Jesus spoke very directly, "Ask,
and you will be given what you ask for. Seek, and you will find.
Knock, and the door will be opened. For everyone who asks,
receives. Anyone who seeks, finds. If only you will knock, the
door will open." (Living Bible – Matthew 7:7-8)
Jesus then
tells a simple story to drive
his point home. "If a child asks his father for a loaf of bread,
will he be given a stone instead? If he asks for a fish, will he be
given a poisonous snake? Of course not! And if you hard-hearted,
simple men know how to give good gifts to your children, won't your
Father in heaven even more certainly give good gifts to those who
asked him for them?"
Remember, sex addicts want to be in
control of their own lives. Addicts have a major ego problem.
Therefore, many addicts think of prayer as another task. They
often try to get out of praying by asking lots of questions, "Does
this really work?" Or, “I’m not really a religious person—I don’t
think God will hear me anyway.”
Surrendering is perhaps the hardest
job that it addict must learn. Prayer is a good place to start
learning to surrender. Your daily quiet time, the continual praying
away of lust, and surrendering your powerlessness over lust to God,
are all part of gaining victory over lust.
Stop yourself every time you are
tempted to ask those questions, "How does this prayer thing work?"
Or, "Do I really have to attend all those meetings and do all these
readings?" Or, "Isn't my sponsor being unrealistic?" Or, "Do I have
to spend this much time every day praying away my lust — after all,
lust is so normal to men—"Boys will be boys?" For now set those
questions aside, just do which were told—just submit—trust the
process of those who have gone before you.
Prayer is a key
part of your submission process. Throughout the day, surrender
yourself to God. Tell him frankly you don't understand all of this,
but you are surrendering your lust, and yourself to Him.