Although it is far from being a universal experience, the intangible feelings of depression, frustration and entrapment that come with midlife crisis occasionally take form as an extramarital affair. In the middle ground between myth and stereo type, midlife extramarital affairs with the younger female do occur. Virtually everyone who has made it to midlife knows of a graying ram who made the leap into forbidden pasture with a young ewe.

"If you really feel bad, you're going to look for some way to stop it," said Kent A. Young, a clinical psychologist with an office at Madison's Lake Ambulatory Care Center of Lake Hospital System. "They feel bad and they try to offset it with adding a feel good. And if they are really desperate, they look for the big buzz."

Young said that the "big buzz" doesn't necessarily have to be an extramarital affair. In fact, many midlife men are so crippled by feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem that they are intimidated by the thought of approaching a younger woman. Alcohol, drugs or gambling is more likely to be their buzz of choice.

But solace also comes in 110-pound packages who smell good, listen well, have girlish mannerisms and remind the midlife man of the ecstasy he felt when he first fell in love—so many years ago.

Perkins said older men are naturally attracted to younger women because they possess the youth and sexual appeal that their wives have lost to time. As the man looks at his own aging body in the mirror, he realizes that if he's going to upgrade his spouse, he'd better do it now.

"He thinks 'If I wait another 10 years to have a relationship with a younger woman, it will be too late, I need to make a move now."’

The man in midlife crisis often finds little reason at home for him to honor his commitment. Those darling kids that held the marriage together in the couple's first 10 or 15 years have turned into obnoxious teenagers who demand everything and give back nothing. Jim Conway, author of numerous books on midlife issues and president of the California ministry Midlife Dimensions, said marriage satisfaction reaches a low point between the ages of 35 and 50. Relationships become stale, sex routine and appearances all too familiar

"We've seen each other naked so many times, so how can we seem new to each other?" asks Dr. Paul Moschetta, a Manhattan marriage counselor and author of "The Marriage Spirit," with his wife Dr. Evelyn Moschetta.

"We see a lot of midlife couples come in," Moschetta said. "They don't identify it as a midlife crisis. They describe it as not feeling happy, disappointed in the relationship, wondering what is going to bring them a sense of fullness and completion."

Moschetta said an empty nest suddenly brings together two people who have shared their home and lives with children for more than 18 years. Each mate has evolved during that time, and the partners suddenly find themselves facing a person different from the one they married.

"It feels awkward," Moschetta said.