Midlife Dimensions


Christmas Day - 12/25/10

3:29 PM [MAS] Pualani @28: Am so tired of watching television. Sometimes I feel like an old woman--I look around and see myself with my cat and say, "Is this all there is?"

3:31 PM [faithful] MAS have you taught about taking a college course. You can even do it online where you do not have to go anywhere. It has really help me to keep my mind focus and busy.


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December 25, 2010 / Saturday 1-2 pm PST / CR#5.

3:00 PM [swan] Hello everyone, Merry Christmas

3:01 PM [faithful] hello swan and Merry Christmas to you too.

3:01 PM [Pualani] for unto us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, and Prince of Peace. Isaiah 9:6

3:01 PM [Pualani] Welcome to chat on this very special day!

3:02 PM [Cricket] Thanks Pualani - Merry Christmas.

3:02 PM [faithful] all h showed up with presents for the kidos. It was an answer to prayer. He only stayed for a few minutes. I had to go to the bedroom because I lost it.

3:03 PM [Cricket] Faithful - Wonderful - PTL - That really is praise.

3:03 PM [Pualani] faithful @:02 Praise the Lord for answered prayer. I'm sorry you were overwhelmed though (((((((HUGS)))))))

3:03 PM [Cricket] Pualani - How are things with your sons?

3:05 PM [Pualani] Cricket @:03 S23 is really struggling, but I think he's actually starting to grieve now. He wants to come home and misses me. S14 is with S28 for Christmas not my H for some reason? I phoned S28 and left a Christmas greeting for them all

3:05 PM [faithful] cricket and Pualani that is what I said PTL but it hurts so much. He put his hand on my shoulder and said Merry Christmas. I wanted to give him a hug and hold him so I just walked away.

3:06 PM [Pualani] faithful @:05 although you'd have loved to hug your H for him to put his hand on your shoulder was a way for him to connect with you that he felt comfortable with

3:06 PM [faithful] all I just hurt so much for my s27. He really misses his father and was crying last night during Christmas Eve service. I try to encourage him to reach out to his dad and to forgive him. This is all I can do.

3:07 PM [faithful] all I was doing just fine until he showed up. But I know God is working because there is tenderness in his eyes again. At least I see some life in his eyes.

3:09 PM [Pualani] faithful@:06 you are a loving mother who doesn't want to see her children hurting. You did all that you could in encouraging your S to reach out to his father, you can't do any more other than to pray for your H and children

3:09 PM [Cricket] I had to log out and come back in. Internet is slow right now at my sisters.

3:10 PM [Cricket] Pualani - I can imagine how difficult this time is for your S27 and for you as well with the loss of your grandson.

3:10 PM [Pualani] faithful @:07 my goodness, another praise! Christmas may not be all that you hope for this year, but I really see praises here

3:11 PM [faithful] hello MAS how are you?

3:11 PM [Pualani] Hello MAS and welcome to chat

3:11 PM [Pualani] Cricket @:10 it’s S23 who lost the baby. S28 isn't speaking to me at the moment and that's who S14 is with at the moment

3:12 PM [faithful] Pualani I just do not want to get my hopes up because I know this is a slow process and I am very impatient.

3:13 PM [faithful] Pualani I know how you feel. My s27 did not speak to me for over a year and I did not see my grand baby for the first year of her life. Now he is talking to me again and has been a very good support since h left.

3:13 PM [MAS] Hello ladies, faithful, Pualani .

3:14 PM [Pualani] faithful @:12 all we have is right now, this very moment. Your H did the best he could for today in reaching out to you. Try and remember this is a season - with a beginning and an end. One day, this too shall pass. You know that when we are impatient God gives us trials to learn patience  

3:14 PM [Pualani] Hello lalachrissie and welcome to chat

3:15 PM [faithful] Pualani that is so true at 14. I just thank God for this group otherwise I would probably done everything in the flesh.

3:16 PM [faithful] Pualani you are right I need to be thankful that h came because last year we did not even hear from him, he was overseas visiting ow.

3:16 PM [Pualani] faithful @:13 I think once S28 knows the whole truth he'll come around. His wife is very in with the OW. Together they turned on my other DIL at my BIL's funeral just after she'd lost her baby. I guess the OW has a hold on my S28 and DIL as well as my H at the moment

3:17 PM [faithful] all I guess I was hurt because he did not get me anything, but is not about me it is about my kids.

3:18 PM [Pualani] faithful @:15 this is why I'm sure God brought me here over 2 years ago. Only we know what we're going through and we can love and support and pray for one another  

3:18 PM [faithful] Pualani that is the way it was with my son. My DIL would put things into his head and turn him against us. Now he is divorce, which he did not want to but had no other choice. Ex DIL is bipolar and started getting into drugs and partying.

3:19 PM [Pualani] faithful @:16 well there you go - a HUGE improvement on last year  

3:19 PM [faithful] MAS you are quiet. Are you ok?

3:19 PM [MAS] faithful: No, not really.

3:20 PM [MAS] faithful: I'm having a hard time today... being alone.

3:20 PM [faithful] MAS go ahead and talk, it will make you feel better. I already did and I feel better.

3:20 PM [Pualani] faithful @:17 H may not have given you a gift, but he gave a little of himself in that he made physical contact with you

3:21 PM [MAS] faithful: H, D, SIL and OW are all together today.

3:21 PM [Pualani] MAS @:20 so sorry you are hurting and feeling lonely today (((((((HUGS))))))) Will you be seeing anyone today?

3:22 PM [MAS] faithful: I'm not feeling any Christmas cheer and am hurt and angry.

3:22 PM [MAS] Pualani @12: No. No one.

3:22 PM [Pualani] MAS @:22 Have you been to a Church service today - or plan to?

3:23 PM [MAS] Pualani : No. Didn't want to get out of bed.

3:23 PM [faithful] MAS I am so sorry. I felt that way when I came into chat but I feel better. We just have to turn it over to God. Is not easy but is better for us. We cannot hold unto the anger it will only make us bitter. Remember God has a plan for you.

3:23 PM [MAS] faithful: Right now, I don't feel that way.

3:24 PM [MAS] All: It's Christmas and I should be with my H and D...not the OW.

3:24 PM [MAS] All: I'm just so tired and weary.

3:24 PM [faithful] MAS when h said he could only stay a minute because he had to go. At first it made me angry and satan try to put thoughts in my head, like where is he going with some other ow and who is h going to be. I put those taught out of my mind. Is not easy.

3:24 PM [Pualani] MAS @:22 I've been by myself today for the first time ever in my 50 years and it's been OK. I've totally focused on Jesus and His birth. I am not letting the enemy direct my thoughts to what my H and OW may be doing this Christmas and in a few hours it will be over

3:25 PM [MAS] faithful No, it isn't easy.

3:25 PM [faithful] MAS we all get tired and weary and want to just throw up our hands but then who wins. It is the enemy and he will destroy you if you let him.

3:26 PM [MAS] All: I've been doing okay lately, have had much more strength than I used to, but today, I'm really feeling down again.

3:26 PM [faithful] MAS I know is not easy. Even with having all my kids I get so lonely at night going to bed. At times I do not want to go bed but I have to keep fighting. Is not about whether he comes home or not but is about the life Gods wants me to pursue. I am going on and living my life until h comes home.

3:26 PM [MAS] All: As you all know, it's just so hard making it through the holidays.

3:27 PM [Pualani] MAS @:24 As I said to Faithfull, this is for a season. You can be sure that your H will know you should be with him, he'll be thinking of you even if he tries not to. Guilt will be at work in his heart. Try and forgive them and ask for a blessing on them. I know it's a HUGE thing to ask, but you will feel lighter and you'll be blessed

3:28 PM [faithful] MAS have you thought about volunteering somewhere. Maybe to a women shelter. Somewhere that will take your mind away from your problems and see that there are other people worse off than us.

3:28 PM [Pualani] MAS @:23 Are you able to watch a TV carol service or watch some YouTube clips?

3:28 PM [MAS] Pualani : I know I should, but I'm just not feeling it today.

3:29 PM [faithful] MAS I suffer from depression too and was suicidal at one point, even almost walk in to the phsyc center but some Godly friends help me. So I know how you feel and understand just wanting to lay in bed and do nothing. We have to force ourselves even if we do not feel like it. A good cry and walk always help.

3:29 PM [MAS] Pualani @28: Am so tired of watching television. Sometimes I feel like an old woman--I look around and see myself with my cat and say, "Is this all there is?"

3:29 PM [sbky] hello everyone

3:30 PM [lalachrissie] hi all

3:30 PM [sbky] lalachrissie hello

3:30 PM [MAS] faithful @29: That's where I ended up last year.

3:30 PM [lalachrissie] so angry right now. m d's finally decide to call H and he doesn't answer the phone on Christmas

3:30 PM [MAS] Hi sbky and lalachrissie.

3:31 PM [faithful] MAS have you taught about taking a college course. You can even do it online where you do not have to go anywhere. It has really help me to keep my mind focus and busy.

3:31 PM [sbky] my h is next door. we both went to our friend’s house we have been going to on Christmas for 24 years; he stayed all-night at his parents opened presents with us and is acting weird. my d says he is sick but he seems to not be able to be in the same room with me

3:32 PM [Pualani] MAS @:30 No it's not all there is. You know God has a plan for you and in His perfect time He will put it into place. In meantime we can only cling to him for our strength. Just think about getting through today - not tomorrow. Please try and thank the Lord for Jesus - it's Him we celebrate today

3:32 PM [Pualani] @:31 Sorry to hear that you are angry - (((((((HUGS)))))))

3:33 PM [sbky] then he left to go get cleaned up. so he says came back about three hours later

3:33 PM [MAS] faithful: I already went back to school a few years ago and took some courses. I'm just not at that place right now and not anxious to do it again.

3:33 PM [Pualani] sbky @:32 Hiya and welcome to chat. You know he is feeling guilty don't you?

3:33 PM [MAS] sbky I'm so sorry about that. At least you are together, though.

3:33 PM [faithful] MAS, Pualani, is so right at 32. I think my best defense against satan is to start praising God for everything, for my health, a place to stay, food and so forth. I even praise God for my 27th years of marriage and what he is =going to do in his timing.

3:34 PM [sbky] mas we are in the same places. not together sometimes that is harder

3:34 PM [faithful] MAS it can be a craft, dance or anything fun.

3:34 PM [sbky] Pualani is he guilty about me. or because he ow knows I am here

3:34 PM [sbky] Pualani I am just really down.

3:34 PM [MAS] Pualani Meanwhile the time is passing and we're just getting older and older.

3:35 PM [swan] sbky - that could mostly be guilt, being faced with what should be a joyous family gathering and he is causing distance and as you know when a MLCer feels guilt they tend to go into ostrich mode, trying to stick their head in the sand, thinking no one can see through their garbage.

3:35 PM [faithful] all I think we give the ow too much thought and need to put them on the side burner. They are nothing and just a temporary fix.

3:35 PM [faithful] dogwood hello

3:35 PM [dogwood] All-- Merry Christmas

3:36 PM [Pualani] sbky @:34 I guess he's guilty about many things, but especially being in close proximity and knowing how much his actions are hurting you. Try and forgive him and ask for a blessing for him - it will release your hurt if you can do that because you're giving it to God

3:36 PM [sbky] swan I was laying with my d and realized the time, told her I needed to come to chat. I was feeling down.

3:36 PM [faithful] all we also put too much taught about what h is doing or not doing. At least that is what I heard God tell me. He told me to stop worry about what he is doing or not and start focusing on myself, my life and my future.

3:36 PM [sbky] Pualani this is the first year he left or didn’t just come in the morning and stay all day.

3:37 PM [Pualani] faithful @:34 Praise is such a powerful weapon against the enemy - it's good that you recognize it

3:37 PM [sbky] Pualani how can they act like we mean nothing to them

3:37 PM [Pualani] Hiya Dogwood and welcome to chat

3:37 PM [MAS] faithful: Every day I write down affirmations thanking God for what I have...food, shelter, clothes, etc....Today, I'm just struggling a bit. Sorry, I just can't help it.

3:37 PM [sbky] Pualani but one good note. when his mom ask him to bring milk back I asked for one of my favorite soft drinks and he brought me one

3:38 PM [Pualani] sbky @:34 Sorry to hear that have a huge (((((((HUG))))))) from me

3:38 PM [faithful] MAS that is ok we all struggle. I still have those periods of depression and is hard to overcome.

3:38 PM [Pualani] MAS @:34 and so are they...

3:38 PM [MAS] sbky: You are quite right. I definitely CAN be harder...I have experienced that myself and I know what you mean.

3:38 PM [sbky] mas my h is looks like he gaining the weight I lost.lol

3:39 PM [faithful] sbky my h also has gain weight about 10 lbs.

3:39 PM [dogwood] All-- I am with my son at his in-laws; house for Christmas. Having 5 kids, a dog, good family traditional gathering. went to the church last night for Christmas eve. Hear nothing from H; He has no contact; fear about facing the reality when I return home after the Year. Tough! the thought of it gives me a chill.

3:39 PM [sbky] Pualani I also was looking at this pics on his camera from the trip to fl with d basketball team where ow went... there were some pics of her... but none of them together...

3:40 PM [sbky] Pualani I thought that was odd

3:40 PM [Pualani] faithful @:35 This is exactly what Jim advises - they don't exist meaning they are of no importance to us other than to forgive and pray for. If one OW left another could take her place. Our spouse needs to work through the feelings and make the connection that the problem is within THEM

3:40 PM [faithful] dogwood last year I did not hear from h either and neither did the kids. He did not even call them to wish them a Merry Christmas. He was in the UK with ow. Today he show up with presents for the kids. So you never know.

3:41 PM [Pualani] sbky @:36 You've come to the right place. I hope you leave feeling more uplifted!  

3:41 PM [faithful] Pualani at 40. That is so true but you can hear it all you want and it does not mean anything until you believe it.

3:41 PM [MAS] Pualani @38: Yes, but the difference is that they're out there doing what they want to do and living the way they want to live. THEY aren't alone.

3:41 PM [sbky] mas being physically with someone. doesn’t mean they are not alone

3:42 PM [Pualani] sbky @:37 Sorry for your hurting heart. This year is not so good for you, but it will be over before you know it. Try and focus on Jesus and making the day as special as you can for the children

3:42 PM [MAS] sbky @41 Please elaborate.

3:43 PM [dogwood] faithful-- thanks for the hope... He is trying to plan for separation and divorce in January. I pray for a clear direction from God for what to do and to prepare myself for the worst...

3:43 PM [MAS] Hello dogwood. I didn't see you come in.

3:43 PM [Pualani] sbky @:37 It's the only way they can shut out the thoughts by putting up a huge thick barrier, but as Cricket often tells us - it doesn't work

3:43 PM [sbky] mas I guess what I mean is just because they are going places with someone doesn’t mean their heart is in it. when I am at my best. I know he isn’t happy no matter where she is or who he is with.

3:43 PM [Pualani] sbky @:38 Yay! A praise indeed!

3:43 PM [MAS] dogwood: Are you with family today?

3:44 PM [faithful] dogwood I am still waiting for my d papers. He has never filed. I do not bring it up, I just told me I was not going to give him and divorce and if he wanted one he needed to file.

3:44 PM [swan] sbky & All, 2 Timothy 1:7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. The enemy will bring things to mind, taunt us with images of how wonderful things are and bring upon us depression; we must fill our minds with things of God to not give room to the whispers of satan. The enemy only needs a crack, so please do not open the door wide for him at this time. Stomp your foot, command him to get behind you and call upon the Lord to rebuke him.

3:44 PM [Pualani] MAS @:37 Know how much we care for you and God loves you even more than any of us can.

3:45 PM [sbky] swan I have the thought everyday that "enough is enough, I am done"

3:45 PM [faithful] sbky @ 43 that is so true. We do not know what is in their heart. We need to surrender and give it to God.

3:45 PM [swan] MAS - actually when you talk to someone who has been through MLC, they will tell you that they were feeling the worse kind of lonely, being alone in a room full of people.

3:45 PM [MAS] dogwood: I just read that you are with family today. Glad you aren't alone.

3:46 PM [MAS] Pualani @44: Thank you, Morwenna.

3:46 PM [Pualani] swan @:44 thanks for the reminder!

3:46 PM [faithful] sbky @45 that is the way I feel many time but God will not let me go. I need to just focus on me and let God work on him. What he is doing or not should not be any concern of mine. Someone ask me if I knew if he had someone and I told them I did not know and did not care.

3:47 PM [faithful] cont I do care but I cannot handle it and is better if I do not know.

3:47 PM [sbky] faithful yes God will not let me let go. I keep hearing HOLD ON

3:48 PM [faithful] sbky I feel as long as I am in God will I am going to be ok. Is better to be in his will then out of his will. We will reap our reward someday.

3:49 PM [Pualani] All, try and just get through today - sufficient are today's worries Jesus said in Matthew. Don't think ahead to the new year and what may or may not happen then. You all know that my H's D will be final at Epiphany 6th January - but now that I'm nearly there I feel peaceful - I KNOW this isn't the end. Don't let the enemy spook you or whisper those horrible thoughts in your ear

3:49 PM [sbky] faithful it is that SOMEDAY I am having problems with. I am going on 5 years since I notice he was acting funny and valentine day will be 5 years since speech

3:49 PM [faithful] MAS just remember your life is not define by your h. You are a wonderful person that God created. He created you for a purpose. Just hold onto Jesus and he will see you thru. He understands you.

3:50 PM [swan] sbky - @45 - Ok, so you're done, enough is enough, so what does giving up really accomplish? What comes next, how does that change anything happening now? MLC is something you, nor even your husband can control and giving up doesn't stop it from continuing, besides there will come a time when you will stand before the Lord and what do you want Him to say to you, well done good and mighty servant or sbky I had a task for you and you turned away from it too soon, no one else was standing in the gap for them, no one else lifted them in heartfelt prayer. I never want to find out I disappointed God because I gave up too soon.

3:50 PM [MAS] sbky: A friend of mine, who is also on this MLC journey, just told me today that I needed to hang on. She said I've been standing for this long already, if I gave up now, I'll never know what might have happened if I just waited a little bit longer.

3:51 PM [faithful] sbky I cannot even imagine 5 years. I am going on a 1 1/2 but I know God will give me the grace if I have to go for that long. I guess right now I am focus on getting my masters in nursing and that keeps me busy.

3:51 PM [Pualani] faithful @:50 AMEN to that - well said Faithfull and Faithfull, remember that for yourself as well  

3:52 PM [sbky] swan and mas I know I can’t give up. I will always wonder what if I had waited one more month or one more week. I got to start praying for h again every time I think of him instead of just thinking of him.

3:53 PM [Pualani] swan @:50 I agree. At the end of the day their Salvation is the most important issue and the more important thing we can pray for. PRAYER is POWERFUL

3:53 PM [sbky] all. my d has went off on him again over some stuff. and he admitted to her in text... that he knows she is angry with him.

3:53 PM [Pualani] MAS @:51 How true, thanks for sharing MAS!

3:54 PM [MAS] sbky: I think that's what keeps me going all those times that I want to give up as well.

3:54 PM [swan] sbky @52 - agreed, praying for them (anyone, especially those hurting or irritating us) is always a great way to combat the enemy. When the enemy brings thoughts like that to me, I tell him out loud, "fine, go ahead and whisper these things to me, I will just pray about it, and you will get a thank you card from God for increasing my prayers"

3:55 PM [faithful] ALL I think we forget the battle is not ours but the Lord's. We need to fight with prayer and the word. I have forgotten and have even stop fasting for my h. I am going to start fasting again and spending time with my Lord again. Thanks all for the encouragement.

3:55 PM [Pualani] MAS @:54 In Winston Churchill's famous speech he said, 'Never, never, never give up!' We will never fail as long as we never give up

3:56 PM [sbky] swan and all. and he must be saying to my mil, she told my d she thinks he is starting to regret some stuff and she thinks he is starting to see some of what he has done to us

3:56 PM [faithful] Merry Christmas and remember we are bless not matter what. There are other people worse off than we are. They do not have hope, they do not have Jesus.

3:56 PM [Pualani] sbky @:56 Another praise!

3:56 PM [faithful] they do not have Jesus

3:56 PM [Pualani] faithful @:56 Amen!

3:57 PM [sbky] Morwenna and I know they seem to reconnect with the kids first... and everyone else...

3:57 PM [faithful] I have to go and finish Christmas dinner. I feel so much better and my spirits are lifted. PTL

3:57 PM [Pualani] sbky @:57 That could be to test the waters to see how receptive you would be to reconnecting with him

3:58 PM [sbky] Pualani I am always nice

3:58 PM [Bluesky] Merry Christmas all, Is everyone okay?

3:58 PM [swan] sbky - Amen that he is starting to see, even a glimpse of what he is doing to you and others, expect him to try to run deep into the cave again, they don't normally like what they see when the mirror starts to get the grim cleaned off of it and they are facing the reality of their choices.

3:58 PM [Pualani] Hey, Bluesky good to see you - Christmas Blessings dear sister

3:58 PM [MAS] Pualani : It's just that I feel such a struggle within me ...I'm on this crazy seesaw going back and forth, on one hand telling myself he's spending quality time with "her" today so why even bother trying, and then telling myself, "don't give up, you've got to keep standing because things could always change."

3:58 PM [Bluesky] Pualani Did you have a nice day?

3:59 PM [sbky] swan he seems to be flopping like a fish right now. one day nice to me. today can’t sit down next to me at the table. stands up till someone else leaves

3:59 PM [Bluesky] all. don't you wonder why it is so short of a journey for some and so long for others?

4:00 PM [MAS] Hello Bluesky, how are you?

4:00 PM [Bluesky] MAS hi, has it been a bad day for you?

4:00 PM [sbky] Bluesky oh yes I do wonder... but I think stubborness is one of my h's reason for taking so long and some do everything in the world not to think. my mil also told my d. he works too much. way to much

4:00 PM [MAS] Bluesky Yes, it hasn't been easy.

4:00 PM [Bluesky] sbky pride and stubbornness, yep.

4:01 PM [Bluesky] MAS were you with your family?

4:01 PM [swan] sbky @59 - well remember even when the fish is flopping on the shore (or deck) and it seems all the fight is gone, the flopping slows or stops, if you approach them too soon there is always that last ditch effort arises and they flop again for a little while.

4:01 PM [MAS] Bluesky: I'm really struggling today. How are you doing?

4:01 PM [Bluesky] MAS doing okay, my kids are here, though my d is leaving to be with her father for a bit. But oh well, they had a good Christmas here.

4:02 PM [sbky] swan I am just nice when he is around. I showed him the hand painted plate I bought my mom. with characters of her grandkids. but nothing but being nice...

4:02 PM [swan] sbky @02 - so that is the only time you are nice - LOL!

4:02 PM [Pualani] MAS @:58 Think of it this way - YOU are a beautiful woman of God, listening to her Lord and working on areas of her life that He would like her to. So OW's with another woman's husband what sort of woman does that make her? MAS you are gracious and dignified and this OW deserves none of your fretting or heart hurting. One day you and your H will spend Christmas again as you should do and hopefully OW will be out of the picture and with the right person for her. Pull yourself up tall and see yourself as God sees you (((((((HUGS)))))))

4:03 PM [MAS] sbky It seems that my H never detached with anyone else....in fact, quite the opposite. He has remained very connected to my family, and has even reconnected with his brother and sister. I'm the only one he's distanced himself from.

4:03 PM [MAS] Bluesky@01: Not today, no.

4:03 PM [sbky] swan. I am always nice. I am not needy, except my cs... and I am very nice about that when he isn’t working. I am not clingy... when he is around I am nice

4:04 PM [sbky] mas and that sucks. I feel sometimes my h is dead but there is a twin of him that everyone gets but me. it hurts

4:04 PM [swan] sbky @03 - I was joking, it was just the way you said it - trying to get you to laugh and see humor in even this darkness.

4:04 PM [MAS] sbky @04: Exactly. It's so unfair.

4:04 PM [sbky] mas but although they get him in their lives it isn’t the same. my mil told my d he has changed how he treats everyone not just your mom

4:05 PM [sbky] swan I did laugh...  

4:05 PM [Bluesky] sbky what is your cs?

4:05 PM [Pualani] Bluesky @:59 Very blessed thank you. I went to Midnight Mass in the village last night and to the morning service at the little Church just out of the village this morning. Everything was white with frost and looking beautiful. I made a heart shaped wreath for GS's grave and included some holly with berries on it from my own lost baby's bush - I lost her 17 years ago this month. I cried a few tears and prayed at his graveside. I had a salad sandwich for lunch because that's what I wanted to eat. I had a nap and I think I'll leave opening presents until tomorrow.

4:06 PM [sbky] swan and all. I am pretty sure my h wont, will not reconnect with me till he is sure. I asked God to only bring him home when he is through this. I can’t take the coming and going

4:06 PM [sbky] bluesky my child support. sorry

4:06 PM [swan] sbky @05 - sometimes laughter is a very good treatment for when we are down. I mean a belly jolting, deep down; take your breath away laugh.

4:06 PM [MAS] sbky@04: Well, I know my H sent my mother a Christmas card telling her how much he loved her and thanking her for being in his life.

4:06 PM [Bluesky] Pualani what a beautiful thing to do.

4:06 PM [Pualani] Bluesky @:00 Depends on how much 'cooking' they need! When they're done, they're done!  

4:07 PM [Bluesky] swan, how was your day?

4:08 PM [MAS] Pualani @05: You are such a strong woman. You have certainly been through so much in your life.

4:08 PM [swan] Bluesky @07 - good, we all got up around 0800 this morning (my 11 year old niece at 0545), opened gifts and now my brother in laws family is here so dinner will be in a little while.

4:09 PM [sbky] all also found out h's best friend who moved out right after h. but he got divorced. is getting married. his live in gf is pregnant...

4:09 PM [Pualani] swan @:06 like the other night when I wrote I'd been wrapping gits instead of gifts - I giggled for ages over that?!

4:09 PM [Bluesky] swan ah military time, hehehe

4:10 PM [swan] Morwenna @09 - when I am feeling down, I will break out a comedy, I love some of the old ones (Marx Brothers are my favorite) and watch until I am laughing and all the weight of the world has rolled off and is flowing downstream.

4:10 PM [Bluesky] Pualani when my d was little and writing thank you notes, she got a shirt from her great grandma and wrote out thank you for the "sxxx". I still have the note. I love it.

4:11 PM [swan] Bluesky - @09 is there any other kind of time???

4:11 PM [Bluesky] swan well I can never figure it out

4:11 PM [sbky] swan I think I told some of yall before. h was also suppose to go to church with my sil one night, but me and d went instead, hopefully h has or will be willing to go again

4:11 PM [Pualani] Bluesky @:06 Thank you. It was the first time I'd been in that Church since the funeral and I asked the Vicar if I could sit in the pew at the front where I sat next to my H at the funeral. S23 and DIL appreciated me going to see the baby's grave and to know I'd prayed there for them all.

4:11 PM [swan] Bluesky @11 - start a 1, go to twelve and then instead of starting over continue on to 24.

4:11 PM [Bluesky] Pualani what was the cat website again. I couldn't find it.

4:12 PM [sbky] Bluesky I use military time at work. so I just add 12 to whatever time it is after 12 o’clock noon

4:12 PM [Bluesky] swan but after 12 I never know what larger number corresponds to the 2nd 12 hours.

4:12 PM [swan] Bluesky - I still tend to talk a lot of military, not being around a base anymore, I also find myself having to explain more often, but hey after more than 30 years around it, it is natural for me.

4:13 PM [Pualani] MAS@:08 The JOY of the Lord is my strength - I can't do this in my own strength. Night after night I tell God I can't do it on my own and day after day He gives me the strength to keep going. Do you remember when the Israelites were in the wilderness? God provided manna for them one day at a time - that's how we must go

4:13 PM [sbky] Bluesky at 2 pm. I add 2 plus 12; 1400 hour... 4 pm is 4 plus 12. 1600 hours

4:14 PM [Pualani] Bluesky @:09 I was just about to say that!  

4:14 PM [swan] sbky & Bluesky - actually there a lot of people who call it European time rather than military, so if you leave the US, you might need to learn it.

4:14 PM [MAS] Bluesky: How was your day today? Have you told us?

4:14 PM [swan] sbky @13 - you got it.

4:15 PM [Pualani] swan @10 I plan to watch Blackadder's Christmas after finishing on here - it has Rowan Atkinson (Mr. Bean) in it - I will have a laugh!  

4:15 PM [MAS] Bluesky@10 That's too funny.

4:15 PM [sbky] swan I use it at work when I put the time on the charts when people are signing the chart

4:16 PM [Bluesky] MAS it’s been fine. My son hasn't felt well so it was a rocky night getting him comfortable, but he is here so I am happy. I slept on the couch so he would feel better. D is having allergy attacks because the cat is here. I am watching him for the next week and half. If it gets bad I am afraid she will go stay with her dad and I don't want that.

4:16 PM [swan] Pualani - He is pretty funny, have a good laugh!

4:16 PM [Bluesky] swan okay, then I will stay in my little world right here.

4:17 PM [MAS] Bluesky@16: Yes, I can certainly understand why you wouldn't want her to leave.

4:17 PM [swan] Bluesky - NO, you don't want to stay the same, you want to expand, grow and become all you can be!  

4:17 PM [Pualani] Bluesky @:12 hang on http://www.cattv.com/catwebsite.php

4:17 PM [Bluesky] swan oh that sounds like a recruitment commercial.

4:18 PM [sbky] all when was talking about some going through mlc longer. I think because I live next door to my in-laws. h knows where I am most of the time. not that they tell him. I am must home and he knows it. but when I start staying at my friend’s house over night or going to my parents without the kids. then he starts getting nice. I am not saying make them wonder but show them you are having a life. get out and have fun... how ever you may find fun

4:19 PM [sbky] I am just home and he knows it

4:19 PM [MAS] sbky@19: Mine too.

4:20 PM [Pualani] swan @:16 Will do...Actually the humor is similar to my own - very tongue-in-cheek!

4:20 PM [sbky] all I work working 12 hours tomorrow and then weather permitting driving 3 hours to my moms. my aunts that died in October, her kids are coming to my mom’s to spend 3 or 4 days with us... I pray the weather doesn’t stop them

4:21 PM [swan] Bluesky - I was punning with the Army slogan

4:21 PM [Bluesky] swan I know you were girl. Silly

4:21 PM [sbky] all if anyone likes waffles and needs a waffle iron. the food network brand from kohl’s works good

4:21 PM [Pualani] Bluesky @:18 Yes, I did too at first. My computer wouldn't let me copy and paste and I typed it out and then saw it was cat TV. Thanks to swan I can use the ctrl method and that works now

4:22 PM [swan] Bluesky - I think something is just not making the connection that is one of the things the IT staff is looking at to see if it can be corrected.

4:22 PM [Pualani] swan @19 Sorry I thought I’d clicked on-line again. I was looking for the cat link for Bluesky...

4:23 PM [sbky] swan, Pualani, bluesky thanks for taking time out of your day to open chat. my day is pretty wonderful .I have all of his family with me. and he is here. so better than he not being here... I am just getting tired and need a good kick in the butt...lol

4:24 PM [Cricket] ALL - I kept losing my internet connection & I'm playing Wii with my family but I did send you all a few emails about things we talked about, the OW being a band aid, holidays, etc.

4:24 PM [MAS] sbky: Do you know where to get a good Kitchen Aid mixer on sale?

4:24 PM [sbky] mas no I don’t those are expensive

4:24 PM [swan] sbky - Hey they got any big trees down there in bluegrass land, we can fix you up with a 2x4 - LOL!!

4:24 PM [Pualani] sbky @:23 So glad you came in - I've been looking forward to chatting with everyone - I hope you feel a bit better?

4:25 PM [Bluesky] MAS they were as low as 149 on Amazon the other day

4:25 PM [sbky] swan I have plenty 2x4. I live in the mountains. and h is a builder so all extra wood comes here...lol

4:25 PM [MAS] Bluesky Wow! That's cheap!!

4:25 PM [Bluesky] sbky is h in your house?

4:25 PM [Pualani] Cricket @:24 we thought you were just busy partying!  

4:25 PM [sbky] Pualani I do. it is nice to be reminded marriages do survive mlc. but I really believe they only survive if the left behind spouse is strong enough and stubborn too.

4:26 PM [MAS] All: It looks like Cricket's having some trouble staying online.

4:26 PM [sbky] bluesky he is at my in-laws. which is next door, but is home to me, people joke we need a cat walk between our houses

4:26 PM [Pualani] sbky @:26...and never gives up!

4:27 PM [sbky] Pualani I had NO CLUE I was a strong, independent person till all of this.

4:27 PM [Bluesky] MAS, I was thinking the other day, if we left our stand, what else would we do? I certainly don't want to bring another man into my children’s lives (and they are 22 and 18), Nor do I want to date.

4:27 PM [Bluesky] sbky oh okay, has he stepped foot in your house lately?

4:27 PM [Pualani] Hey Cricket, thanks for sharing some stuff with us to get from our inboxes. Sorry you were having problems getting into and staying in chat.

4:28 PM [Pualani] sbky @:27 Me neither! PTL for HIs gifts!

4:28 PM [MAS] Bluesky Yes, I've often thought about that as well. Would we really be doing anything different than we are right now?

4:28 PM [sbky] Bluesky no. not in almost a year. d said thanksgiving day instead of calling her from next door to see if she was ready. he was coming over to get her when she walked out the door. don’t know if he would have come in or not

4:28 PM [Pualani] Bluesky @:27 That's what I feel as well

4:28 PM [Bluesky] sbky me too. I was telling my d last night that I enjoyed being home by myself as much as I miss her. She said you needed to find yourself mom.

4:28 PM [Bluesky] MAS exactly

4:28 PM [Pualani] MAS are you feeling better?

4:29 PM [Bluesky] MAS so you didn't see you d either?

4:29 PM [Pualani] All, I believe chat is about to close. May the rest of your day be blessed and please come back to chat tomorrow (((((((HUGS)))))))

4:29 PM [sbky] mas and bluesky I will not bring a boyfriend or a step parent into my children’s lives until they are grown. I have seen so much pain and hurt that other children have went through. so I wouldn’t be doing much different if I was divorced or not

3:29 PM [MAS] Pualani @28: Am so tired of watching television. Sometimes I feel like an old woman--I look around and see myself with my cat and say, "Is this all there is?"

3:31 PM [faithful] MAS have you taught about taking a college course. You can even do it online where you do not have to go anywhere. It has really help me to keep my mind focus and busy.


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Chat Room Acronyms

Guests often use acronyms to speed up their conversations. Here are a few examples for you:

I have been S from my H for 2 years. We have 3 children, S8, S13, and D16.
I have been Separated from my Husband for 2 years. We have 3 children, Son age 8, Son age 13, Daughter age 16.
  OW = Other Woman   AW  = Adulteress Woman   W  = Wife   OP = other person
  OM  = Other Man   AM  = Adulteress Man   H  = Husband   LBS = Left behind spouse
  D = divorce or daughter   S = son or sister or separated   XW  = ex-wife   GF = Girl Friend
  DIL = daughter-in-law   SIL = Sister-in-law or Son-in-law   XH  = ex-husband   BF = Boy Friend
  MIL = mother-in-law   MLC = Midlife Crisis   PG = Praise God   CS = Child Support
  FIL = father-in-law   MLD = Midlife Dimensions Ministry   PTL = Praise the Lord   ED = Erectile Dysfunction
  w/ = with   w/e = weekend   b/c = because   
  w/o = without   BRB / be right back   LOL / laughing out loud