Midlife Dimensions


Thanksgiving - 11/27/08

[11/27 15: 58] Swanlakejgs [Facilitator]: Blessing and Happy Thanksgiving to all, welcome to this special chat night.

[11/27 15: 58] Swanlakejgs [Facilitator]: 1 Thessalonians 5: 15-18 - See that no one pays back evil for evil, but always try to do good to each other and to all people. Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.

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Thanksgiving - 11/26/09

5:02 kbird: Pualani: Happy Thanksgiving to you...haven't been to chat for quite some time, but thought I would pop in. Unfortunately I have not been one of those great success stories. My husband did go through with the divorce

5:05 Swanlakejgs [Facilitator]: Kbird - the story isn't over yet, so the success isn't determined either, a divorce is a piece of paper but not anything final, there are actually many who divorce and later remarry.


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July 04, 2012

6:34 PM


Swan - I guess that is where I get confused. I don't really feel "walked on", just have a hard time when he pulls close (like once he got through security, he turned and threw me a "air kiss" goodbye, then a few minutes later he calls and "says I am on the plane now. Just pulls really close at times and I see my real H, then he distracts himself with work and it seems me and the boys are out of sight, out of mind (at least that is how it feels) although he says he thinks of me all the time..

6:40 PM


dumbfounded2 Your H is still very much in the throes of MLC.   I will reiterate what I said before, and that is you just need to have a great amount of patience and faith right now. I would take comfort in the fact that there is no OW, that he still really cares about you and even more importantly, that he TELLS you and SHOWS you that he cares even thought it may not be as often or in all the ways that you might like.

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Easter - 4/8/12

6:14 PM


dani - that's nice, it's just H and I and he's asleep... as I was doing things I realized that although our children live in the house we've become disconnected... partly because H feels that I "mother' them too much

6:18 PM


buttons, I know that when my h came home, I needed to transfer my attention to him. I mothered/nurtured my kids a lot and I realized I needed to lighten up on them and make him "king of the castle". It was a little adjustment for me.


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New Year's Day - 1/1/12

6:50 PM


Joey H had gone to bed early, then around 4am, after I'd gotten to bed at 12 and a bit, his cell phone rings, twice, he gets up and spends two hours on computer and his cell texting... I went to other room to sleep... got woken when he went back to bed, then when S came home from work, then when H got up in morning... the one night where normally I can have a whole night sleep all at one time I didn't and I was hurt and upset to boot

6:55 PM


buttons, mlc makes men/women nuts. they act like teenager and can't focus. they live for the fantasy of the chase. feeling like they are sneaking and getting away with things. Keep your eyes above the physical and look unto the hills where YOUR help comes from.


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Valentine’s Day Party Chat - 2/14/12

5:41 PM

Almost 29years

For anyone who can answer...When your hubby leaves and wants a divorce and is planning on marrying the OW after only 3 months, what do you do?

5:50 PM


Almost 29years - stay close to the Lord. not much you can do to change your husband. believe me I have tried changing my wife several times. it don't work. Only God can change the heart and that's what He has promised to do. but you need to focus on yourself and let God work on you.

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Valentine's Day Article - "My Love Remains"

photo credit: © Vertes Edmond Mihai | Dreamstime.com
For some of you, Valentine's Day is a time of expectation and good memories. You are glad to be with the love of your life and you are grateful that things are going well. If that is you, enjoy the day and enjoy the connection you have with your life partner.

photo credit: © Scootz | Dreamstime.comSome of you, however, are not looking forward to this day at all. It is a reminder of painful rejection, forced personal growth, and the agony of learning to live "alone." I know this can be an agonizing time but may I remind you that Jesus' greatest accomplishment took place on one of His most agonizing days. He knew the crucifixion was coming. He knew it would be incredibly painful. He knew He would be deserted by the people He cared about the most. In the midst of the pain, however, He secured salvation for all of us. It is a reminder to all of us how committed He is to redeeming everything in life that is broken.

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Valentine's Day Article - "No Reason To Hate Valentine's Day"

Some people love it, some people hate it! Regardless, Valentine's Day is celebrated in some form or fashion in most countries. In the 18th century, Valentines were hand written love notes on hand made cards. In the 19th century, Valentines cards became popular and started to be assembled in factories. In the 20th century it was blown into a huge commercialized "holiday" by American culture, which included billions of greeting cards being sold, the addition of exchanging gifts of all kinds, and the pressure to have romantic evenings with a loved one.

photo credit: © Robin Francom | Dreamstime.comWith that being said, and us being human, you can see how Valentine's Day went from the desire to simply let someone know how much you love them, to wondering if your loved one will be getting you something special - and making big plans - for Valentine's Day.

When you stop to think about it, by taking a regular day and giving it the title of "Valentine's Day," it really can cause one a lot of stress emotionally and financially, and possibly leave someone feeling very depressed. For a spouse that is in a marriage being tested by emotional divorce, physcial separation, or may be newly divorced - it is a tough time to get through. Feelings of "it shouldn't be this way" and "why me" abound, and extreme jealousy and bitterness may build up inside you because of your spouse's adulterous affair partner getting what you feel you should be getting - attention, gifts, love, affirmation, etc. After all, you're the one that's "put up with" you spouse all these years, through good and bad.

If the last paragraph describes your situation, I'm here to say it's not about you, or your selfish spouse, or the other woman or other man in their adulterous relationship. It is, however, a matter of the heart - your heart and its desire to live as a doer of the Word of God. (But don't just listen to God's Word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves. James 1:22)

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Thanksgiving - 11/24/11

6:18 PM


Swan: Why is the MLC'r so selfish!

6:25 PM


nutterbutter - Because emotionally they are about three and that is a very selfish age!!  Because there is something inside of them telling them that they have done everything in their lives for someone else, it started with trying to please their parents, teachers, other adults, then as they became adults, employers, friends, spouses, children, etc.  For whatever reason they feel that they have always had to put themselves last and now they are rebelling and putting themselves first and behaving very selfishly in the pursuit of that.


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Chat Room Acronyms

Guests often use acronyms to speed up their conversations. Here are a few examples for you:

I have been S from my H for 2 years. We have 3 children, S8, S13, and D16.
I have been Separated from my Husband for 2 years. We have 3 children, Son age 8, Son age 13, Daughter age 16.
  OW = Other Woman   AW  = Adulteress Woman   W  = Wife   OP = other person
  OM  = Other Man   AM  = Adulteress Man   H  = Husband   LBS = Left behind spouse
  D = divorce or daughter   S = son or sister or separated   XW  = ex-wife   GF = Girl Friend
  DIL = daughter-in-law   SIL = Sister-in-law or Son-in-law   XH  = ex-husband   BF = Boy Friend
  MIL = mother-in-law   MLC = Midlife Crisis   PG = Praise God   CS = Child Support
  FIL = father-in-law   MLD = Midlife Dimensions Ministry   PTL = Praise the Lord   ED = Erectile Dysfunction
  w/ = with   w/e = weekend   b/c = because   
  w/o = without   BRB / be right back   LOL / laughing out loud