Midlife Dimensions


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April 18, 2011 / Monday Chat with "Restored" & her husband "RH"

6:45 PM digforhelp rh - did you really believe that you did not love your wife while seeking the OW? or were you just not sure?

6:45 PM rh digforhelp - I forced myself to believe it and I told her in so many words "I do not love you". It was the only way I could make myself convinced that it was over, easing the guilt so I could move on to OW. Of course I told OW that I loved her too. I suppose for a while I really did, but in the end I ended up realizing that I did still love my wife. She remained strong and I could see the change in her as she got closer to God and would not give up on me. All I can say is hang on, it is never too late.

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Jan. 11, 2010 / Mon. 6-7 pm PST / Blessed to have Rosco and David Alan here!!!

7:01 Ro828: David Alan: 6:56 Are you saying that men who are involved in trashy, unstable OW will tire of the drama after awhile?

7:02 David Alan [Facilitator]: 7:01 Ro828: I did. And mine wasn't trashy or younger.

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Jan. 10, 2010 / Sun. 6-7 pm PST / CR#1 (with Rosco!!)

6:58 Rosco: I felt that in order to set my life on the right path we needed to start our marriage over. That meant Divorce. Well then my wife couldn't find a job here in the valley and found one back home and moved for the year. That hit me like a ton of bricks and ... I get it now. FAMILY IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING. Not all the things or trials we go through. But it is too late and she is not wanting to discuss reconciliation.

6:59 Brin [Facilitator]: Rosco, If you want things to work out with your W, the OW has to go completely. It would make it easier for you to focus on fixing your marriage, and rebuild your W's trust in you. Not easy to do. Nothing worthwhile is easy to do, anyway, right?

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Jan. 9, 2010 / Sat. 1-2 pm PST / CR#5 / Special Guest Facilitator, David Alan!

1:47 bittersweet: David Alan: What do you mean by a barrier? He has always been with me but keeps emailing and calls her. I feel so angry and want to confront him over his statement.

1:49 David Alan [Facilitator]: 1:47 bittersweet: That's part of the ML behavior. Vacillating back and forth between old and new. He can't make up his mind fully... because he has lost touch with reality. So he erects a barrier to enable him to keep one foot on both sides - so to speak.

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Jan. 4, 2010 / Mon. 6-7 pm PST / CR#2 with SPECIAL GUEST FACILITATOR, DAVID ALAN

6:53 BlueSky: David, when you said those dreaded words that we have all heard..."I don't love you anymore", does the mlc man really mean it?

6:58 David Alan [Special Guest Facilitator]: 6:53 BlueSky: IN his mind, yes. But remember, his mind isn't sound right now. He is confused and struggling for a way out.

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