Midlife Dimensions


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Title Author
Q. What causes a person to finally come out of a midlife crisis? Written by Bill Farrel
Q. My husband is home, but still friends with the other woman. How do I deal with this? Written by Facilitator, "Dani"
Q. How do I deal with the thoughts that keep replaying in my mind? Written by Facilitator, "Restored"
Q. Why do you think spouses who have left, and got the divorce they wanted, don't want to be contacted by the left behind spouse? Written by Bill Farrel
Q. What if - out of blue — my husband says he is coming home? What should I do? Written by Bill Farrel
Q. How long does reconciliation take? Written by Facilitator, "Dani"
Q. So should I just give up standing? Written by Facilitator "Restored"
Q. How long do we stand (wait) and hope for our spouse to turn around? Until they file for divorce? Written by Bill Farrel
Q. Do you think there is a time when the "left behind spouse" needs to let go and maybe consider the possibility that their spouse will never come back? Written by Bill Farrel
Q. Does my husband remember any happy days? Written by Dr. Jim Conway
Q. Does divorce hurt the midlifer emotionally like it does to the spouse who was left behind? Or, are they so in their own world it doesn't affect them? Written by Jim Conway
Q. This weekend, all my family will gather to honor my son......I haven't seen my husband for 6 months....what wisdom can you share? Written by Bill Farrel
Q. Does the walk away spouse know that they can come home? Because my husband is very stubborn, I wonder if his pride would get in the way? Written by Jim Conway
Q. I have been so depressed... do you think I should consider getting on an antidepressant? I have been resistant so far but I just can't seem to get out of this pit of despair.. it has been 4 years of this mlc... Written by Bill Farrel
Q. Are the chances for reconciliation better if the husband is only away for 6 months? Written by Jim Conway
Q. What percentage of wives are able to accept the idea of a MLC and forgive their husbands of their poor ML choices? Written by Dr. Jim Conway
Q. I've come to the conclusion that both our spouses and the "other person" are very selfish and care about nothing except themselves Written by Guest Facilitator, "David Alan"
Q. After my spouse left me, I feel like I have lost myself. How do you find yourself again? Written by Bill Farrel
Q. Can you describe what a deceived person does and what usually brings them out of deception? Written by Bill Farrel
Q. Is it normal for an Mlcer to act as though his family are strangers to him? He only does what he is required to do. Written by Bill Farrel
Q. I got angry with my husband again, I want to watch my mouth, but he makes me so mad sometimes. Does he do it on purpose? Written by Guest Facilitator, "David Alan"
Q. My husband won't look at me (unless he is intoxicated) and I assume it is because of guilt. Do you think most guilt points to the other woman, or just because they know they are behaving in ways that are hurting the family? Written by Bill Farrel
Q. I have lost some very close friends because they don't support my desire to see God restore my marriage. They think I am crazy. What are your.thoughts? Written by Bill Farrel
Q. My husband and I are divorced and he lives with the other woman. I have not heard ANYTHING from him for about 3 years. Now he’s starting to make contact with me….. Written by Jim Conway
Q. Do we just sit back, and let our spouses reflect and escape, but still encourage and show God's love to them? Written by Jim Conway
Q. How do I avoid getting into relationships while my spouse is going through their midlife crisis? Written by Bill Farrel
Q. Is it wrong for me to ask my Husband to just let me know when he's going out and where? Written by Facilitator, "CindyJ"
Q. How can I regain respect from my children if my husband has never shown any respect for me in front of them? Written by Bill Farrel
Q. In the big picture, does God ever say “no” to whether our marriage is restored or not? Written by Jim Conway
Q. My husband is initiating contact with kids, but totally avoiding, or rejecting, any contact with me. What is the best response to my husband in these situations? Written by Bill Farrel
Q. Sometimes I think it may be trust issues and will I ever be able to trust him again? Written by Facilitator, "CindyJ"
Q. I thought it would be beneficial to have as little contact as possible for my own detachment and growth? I want to be elusive once in awhile but also don't want to reject any opportunity to converse if he needs it. I just don't know how to handle this? Written by Bill Farrel
Q. If my husband is the one going through this, why do I have to change? Written by Jim Conway
Q. My spouse emotionally flip flops with me all the time. My concern is after they start reconnecting with the kids, will they emotionally flip flop with them too? Written by Bill Farrel
Q. When they break it off with an “other woman” do they shut us out too? Written by Jim Conway
Q. Can you explain redemption? Written by Bill Farrel
Q. I am starting to feel that I probably shouldn’t talk to my husband at all. Why can’t I get my mouth back under control? I don’t want to live where I don’t talk to him at all. Written by Facilitator, "Swan"
Q. Everything is great and wonderful for us now except my husband won't give up his "friend". It is causing me mental damage. If he could just stop being in touch with her everything would be perfect. Written by Jim Conway
Q. My husband told me in 5 weeks that he was moving on alone (didn't use the word divorce). Does this seem really fast to anyone? Written by Facilitator "Swanlake"
Q. I have tried to talk to my H about MLC. He becomes very angry. He says it could be a small part of MLC, but mostly he just no longer has feelings for me, and feels only apathy. I quit trying to talk to him about it...hopefully he will realize it. Written by Facilitator "Cricket"
Q. Is it normal for someone in midlife to act as though their family are strangers to them and only do what is required of them? Written by Bill Farrel
Q. I see my husband once a week when he comes to mow my lawn, but I’m at a loss of what to talk to him about? My husband has no interest in my life, he proved that to me before he left. Written by Jim Conway
Q. Can your husband talk with you about what he went through? Are you emotionally "over" all the pain? Does it still hurt sometimes? My husband has said such hurtful things that I pray that I will be able to fully forgive him when the crisis is over. Written by Facilitator, "Restored"
Q. Most days I’m ok - today was a bad day, though. I just keep thinking, "How can he think it's ok to be living at home with his wife & having an affair at the same time - knowing that I know." It's like being punched in the face daily. Written by Facilitator "Restored"
Q. Last week I went to a family gathering where my husband & the other woman were there & asked to sit right across from me. Before long we were talking, even laughing about things... Written by Jim Conway
Q. Although, I tried hard to save my marriage and family before my husband married the other woman, I have backed away in every way since they married. I would like to marry again someday, but how can I/we guarantee there will be no divorce? Written by Jim Conway
Q. My husband has deeply wounded our kids by not being in their life for 1 year. Should I occasionally send him emails updating him on our children? I will do it for the kids, but I don’t want to set myself up for possible rejection. Written by Bill Farrel