Midlife Dimension's Office Manager, Lisa Kahan, has experienced a midlife crisis journey with her husband and can relate to the situations that many of our website guests are going through.
Lisa enjoys writing for the Midlife.com website and prays that you will be ministered to through Midlife.com and the Midlife Chat Room.
I've mentioned the 1989 movie, "Parenthood", often in the Chat Room. It's one of my favorites.
It's a realistic view of an entirely dysfunctional family, from great-grandparents to great-grandchildren. You can learn a lot from the movie when you step back and look at the big picture. Life takes everything you've got: love, patience, forgiveness, understanding, humility, perseverance, and so much more. You get more out of life when you put your full trust in God and ride His grand roller coaster. He makes all the ups and downs worthwhile in the end. Sit back and enjoy the ride!
From the movie "Parenthood", here's the "Roller Coaster Speech" scene that really sums it up, but you really need
to see the entire movie to appreciate what the grandmother is talking about. You can view the scene on "YouTube", just click here:
Grandma: You know, when I was nineteen, Grandpa took me on a roller coaster.
Grandma: Up, down, up, down. Oh, what a ride!
Gil: What a great story.
Grandma: I always wanted to go again. You know, it was just so interesting to me that a ride could make me so frightened, so scared, so sick, so excited, and so thrilled all together! Some didn’t like it. They went on the merry-go-round. That just goes around. Nothing. I like the roller coaster. You get more out of it.
My kids will just about always ask "Why".
Sometimes I give them a direct answer, and sometimes the answer has to be
"Don't ask 'Why', just go along with the plan."And every time I give my children the "Don't ask 'Why", just go along with the plan" for an answer, I hear that as if it's coming straight from God, to me as His child, regarding a trial I'm going through. Sometimes I just plain ask God "Why", when I really don't need to know just yet. God will reveal the "Why" in His timing as He teaches me a lesson from each trial that I am blessed to journey through. I have had all my "Why's" answered by the Lord when I just "go along with His plan".
“No Means No”
I love to be able to give my children the answer “yes” when they ask for things.
But, there’s times where a “no” has to be given, and it’s always for a good reason.
Usually, when I tell my children the answer “no”, they’ll ask “why”. Sometimes I can give them a reason, and sometimes I can’t — but I have “my reasons”, or it’s just not an appropriate time or place to give them the reason.
When it comes to disciplining our children, we want them to learn that our “no” in most situations should become their “no”. As they get older, they need to automatically know the answer is “no” (to specific and learned situations) and have the self discipline not to ask us, and NOT to just do it anyways.
As God’s child, whenever I tell my children “no” to something they want to do or to have, I realize God is telling me “no” to something similar that I want to do or to have. I have to accept God’s “no” without whining and know that it’s for my own good.
Parents can see the “big picture” and they know why it’s not safe to do things or buy everything you see just because you want it. I often have to remind myself that God can see the big picture and He knows why He’s giving me a “no” about something in my life. I have to trust my Father and thank Him for knowing what’s best for me and for protecting me with His “no”.
In time, God’s “no” needs to become our “no” as children of God. We shouldn’t throw a hissy fit about His “no’s” because they are definitely for our own good.
Believe me, God loves to say “yes” and bless us tremendously. In fact, He already has given us every spiritual gift that we need.
Always be thankful for the “no’s” and don’t forget to thank Him for each and every “yes”.
I've loved the movie "City Slickers" since it came out in 1991, and I appreciate the message it conveys. Especially since I've entered midlife, it has even more meaning. Occasionally, I'll encourage someone in the Chat Room to think about the famous scene where Curly talks to Mitch about "the secret of life". Curly tells Mitch that the secret of life is "one thing" and that "you have to figure that out for yourself." It's so true! And if you're wondering what your "one thing" is..........then just put Jesus in place of "Curly" and ride along with Him. Jesus is the great shepherd, and like a cowboy, lives to bring in the herd. We are His sheep, and without a shepherd, we'd be lost or dead. I believe Jesus would tell you the secret of life is "one thing" too. And it's really the same-but different for each of us. When you confidently know your own "one thing", everything falls into place. What it boils down to for me is that I'm here for one reason, to live my life for the God Who created me. You might be thinking, "my one thing is also Jesus" and wondering, "how can that one thing be the same-but different". That's because although you believe in the same God, your relationship with Christ is different than mine. You have to live for your "one thing" and I have to live for mine. Then, and only then, can you live in complete peace knowing Jesus is on the throne and has everything in control. Jesus can see the "big picture" and knows what's best for you. He will bring you to and through trials in order to help you grow and learn, and be a better ambassador for our Heavenly Father. In other words, "it's all about Him"! Jesus is our "one thing".
Enjoy the "One Thing" clip from the movie on "YouTube". Of course, if you can watch the whole movie, that's even better. There is mild profanity in the movie, other than that, it's an enjoyable midlife crisis movie! Click below to enjoy the clip:
Father, thank You for the free gift of eternal life. I know I am a sinner and need Your forgiveness. I am sorry for my past sins, and I ask You to forgive me.
Jesus, I believe You died on the cross for my sins and arose from the dead. I now open the door of my heart and invite You to come into my life.
I realize there is nothing I can do to earn my salvation, and I place my complete trust in You alone for eternal life.
I choose to follow You as my Lord. Please make me the person You want me to be.
The Journey is Important
by Lisa Kahan
Let the Journey happen.
God has you doing this Journey for a reason.
The Journey needs to change you.
God has your kids going through this Journey for a reason as well.
The Journey needs to change the kids too.
Don’t rush the Journey.
Don’t cut the Journey short.
Let God choose the length of the Journey.
The Journey needs to change your spouse.
There are lessons to be learned in the Journey.
Lessons take time to learn and sink in.
Be quiet, listen to the lessons.
Let it happen and grow during the Journey.