Midlife Dimensions


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"What will others think of me?"

"What will others think of me?" ~ is a question that many people, who have been abandoned by their spouse, worry about. They wonder if...

  • their family will think of them as a failure, a black sheep, or a victim who needs pity?
  • their in-laws will support them and still be family to them and their children? Or if they'll like the "other woman/man" better than them, and welcome them into their family?
  • their friends will think they messed up and not want to be friends anymore, or that they'll try to fix them with words or actions that add more pain?
  • their children will be mad at them, think of them as a bad parent who didn't do enough, and choose to like the other parent more?
  • their children will grow up and become like the spouse that left, and leave their future family?
  • their church friends will think of them as the poor single parent that will need help to get by daily life?
  • people in general will think, "well, he/she is always bossy (overweight, boring, fill in the blank) and it's no wonder their spouse left them!"?
  • their spouse ever returns, will people be mad at me for forgiving them and taking them back?
  • their spouse ever returns, will people hate their spouse and not want to be friends with our family?

What matters is what you think of yourself and how you present yourself to everyone. What matters even more is what God thinks of you, and I can tell you that He loves you, no matter what you've done. Sure, you may not have been "the perfect spouse" - but it's never too late to change. Choose TODAY to live your life forward, being the person God wants you to be. Do not talk negatively about your wayward spouse in front of others, especially your children. Keep you heart open and be willing to forgive. Accept responsibility for your mistakes in the marriage, and do what you need to do to make amends and change your ways.

Look for God's daily reminders to you to live your life forward.

  • Traffic lights: red = stop feeling sorry for yourself, yellow = slow down and don't worry about tomorrow, green = live your life forward!
  • Check your change! Whenever you receive a Wisconsin quarter, hang on to it as a reminder to live your life "FORWARD"!
  • Wearing a necklace? Whenever the clasp comes around to the front, take it and put it behind you, and live your life forward!
  • Wearing a watch that can beep on the hour? Let that remind you to live your life forward hour by hour!
  • When you walk through automatic sliding doors into or out of a store, let the doors close behind you, keeping your past separated from you, as you live your life forward!

"...Forgetting what lies behind and reaching FORWARD to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." Philippians 3:13-14