You've already started by opening up this section of this website. But in addition, you may have some other forces which are pushing you to get victory over lust, such as:
- You're afraid of losing your marriage.
- You've been caught in a lie about a relationship.
- You've been involved in a chat room love affair.
- You buy playboy, or rent X-rated videos.
- You're tired of living a double life.
- You're ashamed about the damage you are causing your children.
- You’ve wasted money on phone, or internet sex.
- You want to serve in your local church, but you feel unqualified.
- You've been picked up by the police because of sexual misconduct.
- You wasted time on internet sexual chat rooms, or on porno sites.
- Your boss said, "One more sexual harassment incident and you're out".
- Or a hundred other causes which I could suggest.
If you're only driven to face your lust addiction because of some of these external pressures listed above, then you'll probably have trouble sticking with this program. You must be deeply convinced, that your addiction must stop! You must come to see that this is not only an offense against your family, friends, your work, and yourself â€” but it is an offense against God. And God will help you understand how damaging you're addiction really is.
Sexual addiction is not just acting inappropriately, it's also thinking incorrectlyâ€”plus not being spiritually connected to God. No, I'm not talking about the question, "Are you going to heaven?" I'm talking about your moment by moment spiritual connection to God.
Let's Get Started
Following are several activities which will help to confirm you're new decision to have recovery from lust.
1. Tell at least two people that you’ve found this websiteâ€”and that you intend to work this program. If you're married, one of these two people should be your mate. The second person should be a close friend you can trustâ€”preferably someone who also struggles with lust, but who is experiencing recovery from lust.
Don't tell everyone. Sometimes when a person finally decides to stop sexually acting out, they will tell everyone. Bad idea! For now tell only these two people.
The purpose of step 1 is to get yourself on record with your determination to be different person and not be controlled by lust and sexual addiction.
2. Think about your daily schedule. Ask yourself, “When can I find 30 minutes to do the necessary reading, praying, and writing so that I will be successful in this program?”
Wow, I can hear you nowâ€”"I can't find 30 minutes! I'm just too busy to do all this stuff." You must stop making the excuses, "I don't have that much time". You do have the time, because now you have the time which you formerly used in chat rooms and email to fantasize, and to act out.
Okay, let me just nail your hide to the wall for a minute. How much time did you spend fantasizing each day? Let me jog your memory a little bit. Have you done any of the following:
- Spent time on the internet?
- Visited an “adult” bookstore?
- Been to a topless bar?
- Made secret telephone calls?
- Bought sexual magazines?
- Rented videos?
- Planned a secret rendezvous for lunch or dinner?
- Shopped for a special card, or little gift?
- Drove past where “they” live or work?
- Daydreamed about a sexual experienceâ€”or just being with them?
Now where did you get the time to do all those thingsâ€”or the other actions which I didn’t mention? You found time because they were important to you. So you can see I'm not going to accept any of your lame excuses such as, "I really don't have the time".
Face it, you have spent many minutes, or hours, each day fanaticizing. Now I'm asking you to turn those negative, destructive hours into healingâ€”instead of feeding your sexual sickness.
Conway / Farrel Articles ~ Reprint by permission only, ©2011
Midlife Dimensions ~ www.Midlife.com
The Conways and Farrels are international speakers and popular authors.
Midlife Dimensions is a ministry founded by the Conways and continued by the Farrels.